Sunday, May 1, 2011

The Hardest Thing


                 Sometimes bad things happen to a person who doesn’t need it.  We always have hard times and we always have to find the way to get out of it.

                 The hardest thing that I have passed through was when my mom passed away.  She died in 2002 when I was only 11 years old.  At that moment I didn’t realize that my mother was my best friend.  I always was with my aunts, friends, grandparents, and I almost never pass much time with my mom.

                 She was sick for about a year.  It was very hard seeing her like that.  She was sick from her kidneys, and she always have to use dialysis to clean her kidneys.  When she started to get sicker, she need helped to do many things, like to go to the bathroom, walk down the stairs, then later help with feeding.

                 The ugliest thing that I remember was when my father and godmother toll me that my mom was going to die.  That day was very hard for me because I could not stop thinking about it.  Then I decided to talk with her.  She told me, “You are the oldest you have to take care of your brothers.”  And I didn’t know what to say to her because I was only 11 years old and she gave me a big responsibility.

                  From then on, every Monday I had to go get the groceries and wash my clothes before I went to school.  Two months later my grandmother decided that it was better if that my mother moved in with her so she could take of her.  My brother and me had to stay with a friend of my mother while we finished school.  We could see her on the weekends because my grandmother was living faraway.  

I remember that one day our school was celebrating Mother’s Day, and the school was giving presents to the mothers of the best students.  When I heard my mother name my legs started to tremble and my eyes were like rivers because I felt very sad that my mother wasn’t with us.  The good thing was that that day was Friday and we were going to see her.  We were so happy because we had a lot of presents for her, and letters from the teachers that said that she didn’t have to worry about us because we were very good students.  It was very hard to see her happy, but she couldn’t tell us what she wanted to say, because she didn’t have the strength to do it.    

                 By now she was very sick.  Her skin only was covering her bones.  It made me very sad because I never liked to see her like that.   When Sunday came we didn’t want to leave because I wanted to be with her all the time.

                 We came to visit her for a month until one day a friend of my mom went to talk with my aunt.  She wanted to talk with her only alone.  I remember that my aunt was sad but she never cried I think she didn’t want us to know that my mom had died.   I knew that because when I saw the lady I saw in her eyes that she had a bad news about my mom.
  I asked my aunt to tell the truth, but she didn’t want to tell us.  She couldn’t say that my mom died in the hospital.  In that moment I felt cold in my body that started in my head and end went to my feet.    I started to cry like crazy.  The death of my mother hurt me, but it also made me the person who I am.

                 I don’t wish that everybody went through this because it is hard to grow without a mother. I will always need her, to tell me what was wrong or good for me. Somebody to talk with. You have to value the all the things that your mom does for you.

VM

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